


Comfort

by TheFairysPath (friendlyneighborhoodfairy)



Series: The Path I Took (WWTDP 2018) [2]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: 80s AU, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, being outed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 17:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16179881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/friendlyneighborhoodfairy/pseuds/TheFairysPath
Summary: (Set in the 80s.) When Juvia gets outed to her family, Lucy is there to help her put the pieces back together. Lucy wants to do more than that, but is afraid of taking advantage when Juvia is emotionally vulnerable. But her brother Natsu gives her key advice.(Fic #2 forWhen We Take Different PathsWLW week.)





	Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> WLW week. Prompt = comfort + Luvia.

"My family knows."

Juvia's doomed voice made Lucy look up at the open door, blinking in surprise. It was far from unusual for Juvia to come over unannounced—it was weirder if a week went by where she didn't—but she didn't usually look distressed.

Seeing Juvia on the verge of tears almost scared her.

"What happened to visiting your family all weekend?" she asked, leading Juvia to the sofa, but Juvia pulled out of her grasp. Lucy pretended it didn't hurt.

When Juvia clamped her mouth shut looking like she was about to throw up, though, disappointment fled. Lucy pulled her to the kitchen.

"They know," Juvia said again shakily, collapsing against the side of the sink. "Fuck."

"You look pale." Lucy couldn't keep the hitch out of her voice.

It wasn't simply an expression: Juvia was absolutely white—lips faded and eyes grey.

Juvia shook her head.

As they stood there, poised over the sink, Juvia broke the tension with a sob.

Tears spilled over and threaded down her cheeks. Lucy combed her fingers through Juvia's hair, pulling it back from her face, and held her close against her body. For once, she wasn't thinking about the touch, just the woman: her whimper that cracked the room into shards and shattered the calm with pain.

"Breathe," Lucy coached. "Inhale, that's right. Let it out. Good."

It took a moment, but Juvia got her breathing under control. The sob seemed to have been a one-time occurrence: in its place came a still, silent grief.

"My family knows I'm gay," Juvia said, simply, at last meeting Lucy's eyes with a look of devastation. Like the world was ending. In a way, it had.

"I thought you were going to take Gray with you?" Lucy asked gently, rubbing her back.

"Yeah, he knows my family so well it wouldn't be awkward… We both—we can't be seen… He and Natsu—if anyone knew it would destroy both of their careers. Well, you know that. And me…if my family knew…and now they know…it's going to be therapy and exorcisms and going to mass or chapel every weeknight—" Juvia's voice rose with panic.

"Juvia," Lucy interrupted softly, halting the cascade of words, "talk me through it. How did they figure it out?"

"We refused to kiss. We were taking a sibling photo and both my sisters had their husbands there, and my mom suggested we take one of all the couples kissing. Which sounds awkward to me, but you know my mother: what she says goes. And Gray and I—we couldn't do it."

"Of course you couldn't. You should never be forced to kiss someone."

"Right," Juvia said thickly. "I wouldn't do that to him, and he wouldn't do that to me. We care about each other too much to do something so stupid," Juvia laughed. "We got around the sharing a room thing—"

"Your mom let you share a room?"

"Not just allowed: she forced it. There weren't enough rooms, which is true, and she said he and I could  _of course_  share and she actually winked at us."

"What did you do?" Lucy gaped. "Did he sleep on the floor?"

"We shared the bed." Juvia shrugged. "It's a big bed. You know me and Gray. We've known each other for…god, how many years now? It was fun: after the stress of the day, we'd have a mini-sleepover and chat before falling asleep. He…" A special smile came over Juvia's face. "He really loves your brother."

Lucy smiled. "If one of them were a woman, they'd have gotten married a decade ago."

"Too true," Juvia said sadly.

Her tears had dried up, but this seemed to draw them out again, initiating another silent rainfall.

"Oh, darling," Lucy whispered. She dared again to put her hand on Juvia's arm. Juvia didn't shrug her off, and to Lucy it felt like a wonder.

They were still embracing—Juvia leaning even closer now into her arms—so Lucy led them to the sofa to be more comfortable.

"I'll never be able to get married," Juvia sniffed.

"I thought you didn't want to?"

"I don't, but seeing my sisters… Sometimes I want that: to wear a ring and call myself 'Mrs' and be able to say I'm heading home to my wife, my wife and I are on a date, let me introduce you to my wife… It would be nice, you know?"

"Maybe one day," Lucy whispered.

"In my dreams," Juvia sighed.

"Perhaps your sisters' grandchildren will live to see that day."

"Maybe." Juvia's smiled dimmed. "Maybe they won't have their grandmother telling them that when your husband puts his manhood in you for the first time, it changes you…"

"Oh my god, she actually said that?"

"That's not the worst, either."

Lucy made a sound of pain and squeezed her hand, leaning in close until their shoulders touched. They both sighed.

"When we refused to kiss…all night long people teased us. As I was heading to bed, I passed Gray in the hallway and said goodnight to him, and my sister Umi was there, and she gave me this  _look_. 'No goodnight kiss?' And then she shook her head and said, 'Come on, Juvia, stop pretending.'

"Mar came around the corner at that very moment and said, 'Oh my word, Juvia, you're lying?' And then the accusations started and it all came out. The whole family was up almost until midnight arguing. When I was crying so much I almost passed out, Gray threw our things in the car and drove me home. He drove all night and let me sleep."

"He's a generous heart," Lucy murmured, smiling and fingering an errant curl of Juvia's hair. "God, it almost feels like kissing Gray would've been the better option."

Juvia shook her head.

"I won't lie to them. Misdirect, omit, rephrase—sure. But when my mother asked me point blank if we were dating, I said no. And then she asked why we pretended, and I just…told her. I wanted them to know, so I could get it over with. And then it was so much worse than I could ever have imagined."

"I'm so, so sorry," Lucy whispered. Eyes watering, she leaned her head automatically against Juvia's, and startled when Juvia cupped her cheek. "S-So sorry, darling."

"My father isn't speaking to me," Juvia murmured. "Although that's always his reaction when he doesn't like my choices. My sisters are furious, who the hell knows why. And my mother…she still thinks she can change me.

"My grandparents think I change too, but at least from them, it's naïveté? But my mom…she looks into my eyes and sees it. She knows I love women the way she loves my dad. I think she's always known—it's why she was so eager for me to share a room with a man. She thinks I'm unnatural and need to be cured at all costs."

They were both crying now, shoulders shaking against each other.

"I don't want to be something curable," Juvia whispered. "I don't want to be a problem for everyone else to solve. I don't want to be changed into something that's not me and never could be."

* * *

They talked and cried and cuddled long into the evening. That turned into watching a random channel on the TV that was playing some old black-and-white.

They both adored black-and-whites and cooed over the sappy romantic subplot and laughed at the innocent jokes. It felt like a different age: one in which they would've been allowed to love and be happy. It couldn't be further from the truth, of course, but the characters on the screen made life seem so easy.

Lucy persuaded Juvia to stay the night—said she ought not to go home alone. Juvia said she didn't  _want_  to go home alone.

As they prepared for bed, Lucy's brain started doing familiar anxious loops—never sure, as always, where the line lay between them…

But with Juvia so distraught, and they were best friends after all; surely it was okay.

Lucy told Juvia come sleep in the big bed with her.

And so she did, cuddling up and lacing their fingers together as they fell asleep.

Lucy woke first, ever the morning person. She tried not to jostle the bed, but there was a sleepy hum as she rose, so she leaned back to tenderly touch Juvia's cheek.

She loved that intimate touches were okay when one was falling asleep or waking up: the best time, when closeness and affection were not scorned or made awkward by subtext. Love was purer at dusk and dawn.

"My life," Juvia murmured sleepily, "feels a little more survivable."

Lucy smiled. Juvia grinned at her, eyes still closed against the pale light. Then Juvia's face scrunched.

"Shit. It's Sunday."

Lucy wanted to ask what this had to do with anything, but she knew. Juvia's aunt lived in town and was always after her to attend mass. And if she'd heard about the latest revelation…

"Have breakfast with me," Lucy said.

"Mm?"

"Let's go get waffles." Eagerness thrummed through her as the idea grew. "After you're awake, and after my walk with Natsu, we'll go to my favorite place down the street. Sound good?"

"Sounds lovely," Juvia sighed contentedly. "Thank you."

Lucy just smiled.  _Of course,_  was the only answer she had to that.  _I will always want to have breakfast with you and hold you and love you and sleep next to you._

"Natsu and I always walk together on Sunday mornings. You keep sleeping like I know you want to," Lucy laughed, "and get up whenever. There's coffee, and I set out an extra towel in the shower."

Juvia's eyes finally opened, and she stared up at Lucy with a look that truly  _saw_  her—a look which seized Lucy's heart with how warm and happy and appreciative it was. Between that and how cute and gorgeous Juvia looked burrowed into the pillow, Lucy wished she could clutch this moment and have a thousand more like it.

"Say hi to your brother for me," Juvia yawned, smiling at her.

Lucy petted her cheek and got a hum of contentment.

"Sleep well, darling."

With greater confidence than she usually felt, Lucy leaned in and kissed Juvia's cheek.

* * *

"Shh," Lucy said, opening the door before Natsu could knock his booming knock.

"Um, hello to you too, sis. What, do you have a girl over?"

Lucy blushed against her will.

"As a matter of fact, I do have a woman over, and she's still sleeping, so if you don't mind…"

Natsu's eyes glowed. "Oo, who is it? Spill!"

Buttoning her coat, she took his arm and they set off down the sidewalk toward the large park at the bottom of the hill.

"It's Juvia, and she's over because she's having a hard time."

"I heard." Natsu made a noise of sympathy. "Gray told me."

"It was so sweet of him to go with her."

"It was. I'm so grateful for her. They cover for each other all the time."

Lucy squeezed his arm. She knew that under it all, Natsu hated it—not that Juvia and Gray would pretend to date each other sometimes to throw off suspicion, but that they had to at all. Gray and Juvia hated it too: they all did, but there wasn't any other option in this world of theirs.

"Which route?" Natsu asked as they crossed the road to the trailhead.

"Left. I have to be back in time for breakfast."

"Oo, Lulu! Is it a date?" Natsu teased. She punched his shoulder.

"No, it isn't! Juvia is going through some incredibly tough stuff; I'm not going to make it tougher by asking her out right now."

"Lucy."

His unusually serious tone made her stop and look at him.

"Things will always be tough. Especially for people like us. I know you don't want to start a relationship on an unhealthy, unequal dynamic. And that's a good goal. But waiting for life to be perfectly ready will keep you waiting forever. Life is complicated and if you want someone, you should tell them so. Relationships are messy no matter how much you plan for them."

She leaned into his shoulder as they continued walking, and he wrapped an arm around her.

"When did you get so wise to this stuff?" she asked.

He laughed softly.

"From Gray. He used to withdraw when he was emotionally tired as a form of self-preservation. Save it up for the moments when he could give me his all. But we both realized: this time now is all we've got. So we pour all our love into each other each day, because who knows what'll happen tomorrow? Who knows if we'll be too exhausted to be kind, or if one of us will get injured, or if everything were to change?"

Lucy sighed and stared up at the golden autumn trees. "You make it sound scary and less scary at the same time."

He laughed, a big belly laugh. "Oh, sis. Okay, so I'll ask again: is it a date?"

"Still not a date, Natsu."

* * *

But it totally felt like a date.

"You've got syrup on your chin," Lucy laughed.

Juvia snorted and wiped it off. "I'm a messy eater."

"I think it's impossible not to be with waffles. Unless you're being very careful and not having any fun at all."

"I didn't realize eating was supposed to be an adventure. I think I've been doing it wrong," Juvia laughed.

"You should've known me and Natsu in childhood. We had major food fights sometimes."

"I've heard about those," Juvia grinned. "When Gray moved away, we wrote letters sometimes like pen pals. He told me all about meeting these two kids and how they'd had a jell-o fight the first day he met them. I got so jealous of the kids that were his new best friends."

She smiled at Lucy, who looked surprised.

"I never knew that."

Juvia shrugged, smiling. "I'm glad  _now,_  obviously. Because I got two best friends out of the bargain when my family moved. And I got to see Gray happy with a man who is good for him. But at the time, I hated you guys from a distance."

Lucy let out a surprised bark of laughter. "I'm grateful you don't hate me anymore."

After a delightful breakfast, they returned to Lucy's flat and puttered around, talkative and also in that cheerful haze of post-meal lethargy. As they sat on the sofa drinking coffee, Lucy's phone rang.

Lucy frowned. "People don't normally call me on Sundays…"

She walked into the kitchen and picked up. The caller shocked and confused her, and before she knew what she was doing, she was saying, "Yes, she's here."

Shit. She hoped that was the right decision.

Lucy peeked around the door jam. "It's for you. Your…mother."

With a dread-filled expression Juvia rose and took the receiver, errantly untangling the twists in the cord as she said, "Hello?"

Lucy hovered in the doorway, unsure whether to leave Juvia her privacy or stay for moral support, but Juvia met her eyes and didn't shoo her off.

Juvia's mother was shrill enough Lucy could hear every word.

"I finally found you. I just talked to Auntie and she said she didn't see you this morning. Where were you? I thought you were going to Saint Mark's with her. Didn't she talk to you? Are you sick? Don't tell me you got lost again. Are you okay?"

"Mom." Juvia inhaled. "I never said I would go. I had a breakfast date."

"Date. You went on a date with Lucy."

"A  _friend_  date."

Lucy flinched automatically, but the statement confused her more than anything. Was Juvia just saying that because this was her mother? It wasn't like Juvia would admit if it  _were_  a romantic date…

"Instead of attending church, you went out…"

"Mom, I'm not—you know I don't believe that stuff. I stopped going when I turned eighteen."

"You come with me every Christmas."

Juvia looked at Lucy with pleading eyes. Lucy looked back helplessly.

"That's Christmas, Mom! I come because I know it makes you happy."

"Well. If I knew it was such  _torture_  for you…" her mother said stiffly.

"It's not torture. I don't mind going."

"But you try to get out of it whenever you can."

"Well, I don't believe there's a god," Juvia snapped. "So what do you expect?"

"Juvia!" her mother gasped. Juvia glowered.

Lucy knew from long acquaintance with Juvia that this drama from her mother was all for show. She was playing the game for Juvia's emotions. She nearly always won. Even when she didn't, Juvia came away with battle scars. Her heart was made up of more wounds than unscathed now.

Maybe Natsu was right.

She'd lost track of the conversation, but hearing Juvia's tone get more and more frustrated, Lucy drifted away, grabbing the kettle and making tea to give her hands something to do. Her cat Happy wandered in and curled around her legs as if in solidarity.

Suddenly there was the slam of plastic. Juvia stepped into the kitchen doorway, jaw set.

"Are you okay?" Lucy asked fearfully, taking half a step forward.

"She hung up," Juvia growled. " _She_  called  _me_  and then she  _hung up_ …"

"Oh, love…" Lucy could see the brokenness in Juvia's angry eyes. She wrapped Juvia in a hug, not waiting for Juvia to ask, for the moment to flee. This was about comfort, about Juvia, whom Lucy cared about far more than her own confused emotions.

Despite the stiff ire in her body, Juvia molded against her.

After a few seconds, Juvia backed up a step and with surprising gentleness took Lucy's hands.

"Let's sit down," she said. "I feel exhausted."

They sat on the sofa, Lucy curling her legs under her and Juvia arranging herself with her legs in Lucy's lap. It was so intimate that Lucy distantly felt something akin to shock. Not that they didn't cuddle, because they did, but the timing.

Juvia hadn't volunteered to speak, so Lucy didn't either, touching Juvia's hand and caressing back and forth over the back of it. When she looked up to find Juvia's eyes, Juvia was staring off into the distance, brow slightly wrinkled.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I don't want to put up with this shit anymore. I want to  _live,_  Lucy. I want to love myself, and I want to move ahead. Move past this. Prove them wrong."

Her stare was determined and beautiful.

"You aren't something to be cured," Lucy said.

Juvia blinked several times.

"You aren't a problem," Lucy went on. "You aren't a disease. You are perfect and radiant just as you are. You don't have to change—not for me, and not for anyone if you don't want to. And you shouldn't want to, because who you are—the way you feel—is a beautiful thing. Love is always a beautiful thing."

"Love," Juvia whispered, nodding.

Always, Lucy thought. Always worth the risk.

Lucy inhaled, loud in the silence. Light simmered inside her, fingers tingling. Juvia's head tilted, waiting for her curiously.

"M-May I kiss you?" Lucy said, voice thin and wispy.

Juvia met her gaze, all intensity. Lucy's fingers on the back of her hand had stopped moving, and now Juvia shifted, arm sliding under Lucy's hand as she leaned forward.

"Yes," she breathed.

It took Lucy a moment to move. Her hand moved first, caressing Juvia's arm and feeling the slight shiver under her skin. When Lucy leaned in, Juvia exhaled softly, and Lucy melted.

"Juvia," she murmured, touching her lips to hers.

The kiss was slow: firm and decisive and soaking it in. Lucy played her fingers up Juvia's neck, the skin soft and warm.

For so long Lucy had wanted to love someone. To pour her heart into someone, listen to them, live beside them, watch them enjoy the sunset, travel the world with them, learn their interests, make fools of themselves trying new things together.

And for a long time now, she'd wanted that person to be Juvia. Had wanted to love and dote on Juvia. It had nothing to do with Juvia hurting. Lucy simply wanted to.

The desire boiled in her soul and sought to escape. Seeking to be poured into this wonderful person whom she loved, to expend all her energy for Juvia's happiness, to express every thought and feeling inside her. She was anxious, too, but the anxiety was simply because this was so huge. To love your best friend. To want them to know it. Potentially change things forever.

Natsu was right. All timing was perfect timing.

This season was no different than any other in which Lucy cared for her and longed to take care of her. Because hard or easy, she would be here.

That was what mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> My goal is to post every day of this month-long challenge, because I want to get over my fear of posting less-than-perfect updates. So here's a less-than-perfect update. ^^


End file.
